The walk...

 

After weeks, I took a walk around Crystal City. It was a cold, windy and gloomy evening, with very few people on the streets running or walking their pets. Some waited outside the 1-2 restaurants that catered to take-away, but most restaurants were closed. The few kept to themselves, did not make eye contact and no niceties were exchanged. The neighborhood had gone through a complete transformation, and the otherwise lively and vibrant Crystal Drive bore a deserted look. The silence was only broken by the sound of  rustling leaves and chirping birds. It was May 27.

Five weeks later, I took a walk again in the neighborhood. There was still light at 8:30 pm and there was every indication of the oncoming summer. It was humid and still. Restaurants were open and there were more people on the road. I walked the stretch of Crystal Drive to Long Bridge park. It was quiet nevertheless, and this time the silence was broken by a chugging freight train on the VRE line. It was July 1.

The time that had passed between these two evenings saw much action. There were protests across many cities in the US including Washington DC over the death of George Floyd. Friends and family were sick and tired of the stringent lockdown in most major Indian cities. The lockdown was much needed to curb the spread of the infection, but the question was for how long? Someone mentioned an interesting analogy of riding a tiger. You were safe as long as you were riding the tiger, but when do you get off? It was a vicious cycle. Again, there was a surge of infections in four southern states in the US. By then, I knew that it will be work from home all through August. I will not go back to office until September, even that if all goes well. My usual trip home in July was not going to happen. I will consider myself lucky if I can make it home in December.

So, coming back to the two evenings - there was a similarity. There was a certain calmness, as though the mind was cleared of all clutter. As though a fog had lifted, and the vision was clear. These were evenings of retrospection. When I was so caught up with activities otherwise, I did not have the time to reflect. The lockdown gave me that luxury – to rethink my priorities. Isolation is beautiful that way. Nothing had changed for me, and that knowledge was comforting.

With so much negative news around the world, I felt a great need for abundance of positivity. And if I cannot derive it enough from the outside, I must generate it from within. And I wondered where to start from? The work place is a good experimentation ground. I am blessed to have wonderful colleagues and work that I enjoy. But there are stress factors that sometimes I get drawn into unknowingly. The competition that I am not interested in, the rat race I don’t want to run, the networking I don’t want to do, and the self-promotion I detest. The stress is not because I struggle to do it, but because I consciously refrain in an environment where these are acceptable behaviors, and there is invisible pressure to follow suit. If I don't, perceptions run wild. I don’t compete, maybe I am not motivated enough. I don’t self promote, maybe I am not good enough. I don’t network, maybe I don’t have the skills. And I don’t run the rat race, maybe I am ‘not there’ yet. There is constant pressure to hold up to standards set by someone else. But why?

So I made myself a list of what I believe in ‘to remember’ always -

·   - Do not compete with anyone. If you have to compete, compete with yourself, to be a better professional and a better person that before. 

    - Motivation factors vary. Do things for whatever motivates you. Don’t do it just because it will lead to something.

    - Avoid toxic people and toxic behavior as much as you can. These are not conducive to physical and mental health.

     - While its okay to aim high, let that not be the only focus. Take time to enjoy life.

   - When you meet people who put you down, not to be angry. They need sympathy, because it is their insecurity that makes them behave the way they do. They can’t handle good vibes. They can’t be happy. But it’s their problem, not yours.

    - Have mentors who encourage and motivate you, and who take pleasure in seeing you grow. Maybe you can hope that those qualities will rub off on you too.

    - If someone hurts you, don’t dwell on it too much. It’s not worth your time and effort to figure out how to get back. The question you should ask yourself – is that person really that important in your life?

   - Most times, indifference helps tide over negative situations. Its amusing that indifference bothers people. Most expect you to react, and the fact that it does not bother you is difficult for them to digest. You get back in your own way. Call it a coping mechanism or escapism attitude. Whatever be it, it works perfectly.

    - Inculcate and demonstrate those qualities that you would like to see in the other person.

   - Don’t be swayed by so-called ‘leadership’ skills. Leadership is not only about leading. If someone in a position cannot or is not willing give you the space to grow or acknowledge your efforts, he or she is not a leader. Don’t look up to the wrong person. 

  - Break the myth in your mind about good communication skills. It is not about putting up a great presentation, speaking uninterruptedly in flawless English or the ability to cleverly win an argument. Does the person allow the other person to speak or is the conversation all about him or her? If the answer is the latter, too bad. They need to unlearn and learn again.

    - Growth does not have to be always vertical, there can be lateral growth too. Different experiences make your life rich and colorful.

    - Be comfortable in your skin. You should not feel the need to scream from the roof top that you are good. You should let your work speak for itself.

    - Do not let someone else define success for you. If today, you enjoy doing what you do and you are a happy person, that is success for you.

    - Most important of all, practice kindness. More often its important to be kind than to be right. You don’t have to win every argument. If the other person takes pleasure in believing he or she has won the argument, so be it. 

       Two roads diverged in a wood, and - 

      I took the one less traveled by, 

     And that has made all the difference. 

The above lines from ‘Road Not Taken’ by Robert Frost are some of my favorites. I don’t want to be afraid to take a different path at work, if that is what I truly desire. I don’t want to fall into the trap of herd mentality. In fact, I rebel against it. There are no hard rules about where one should be in their 40s, in their 50s and so on. I just want to enjoy life as it flows and enjoy the little moments. I will be a happy person. A happy person means a productive employee. This translates to a better organization.

‘Zen’ moments in the middle of surviving through lockdown. Surreal indeed!

#Coronadiaries#